| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2009|03:56 pm] |
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Does anyone need a room for Otakon? I have room for one more persooooonnnn! |
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| Leaving |
[May. 20th, 2009|03:41 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  cheerful | ] |
I'm about a day away from completing my freshman year at JWU. Its really weird how fast this year went by...its even weirder how much has happened and how my priorities and opinions have changed.
Yishai and I have come back from the brink of breaking up more times than I can count this year. I really feel like its the distance that's been wearing on us. Or my ever changing demeanor; I've changed a lot this year. Apparently a little too much for my relationship to handle...but I think we're both strong enough that we can make this relationship work.
I made my first wedding cake today. It was a yellow chiffon cake with raspberry filling, frosted with Italian buttercream, and decorated with handmade marzipan roses. I got an 86/100 on it. Less than what I was expecting, but still a solid B. I can deal with that. If I get higher than a C tomorrow on my final, I'll make Dean's List for the third trimester in a row. Overachieving fuck that I am... XD
I have a lot of plans for the summer, most of them revolving around cosplaying and trips to Philadelphia to get more holes in me. I can't wait to see all my friends...I've missed everyone so much. Including the people I rarely get to see (like Leigh.) If college has taught me anything (other than how to be the perfect woman XD) its who my true friends are. I'm so blessed to have made new ones to go with the old who have stood by me through the best and worst times of my life.
I'll be home Friday night. :D |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 13th, 2009|07:53 pm] |
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I need to learn how to say no so I don't end up killing myself in a horrible fit of self-hating rage. |
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| Phobias |
[Mar. 2nd, 2009|10:18 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  uncomfortable | ] |
I have yet another new, fantastic phobia to add to the list of things I fear to an unhealthy degree.
In order of severity:
1. Vomiting
2. Dying
3. Open heights
4. Flying
And introducing the newest addition to the things I will have to be medicated for: I fear my loved ones or myself having an undiagnosed fatal malady.
I was looking up symptoms of various cancers on a whim. Bad idea. I was originally looking up symptoms of hypothyroidism (I'm getting tested for it this week) and I stumbled upon symptoms of cancers. Ovarian cancer has me a bit worried. A lot worried. I should probably get checked for that.
Look, I'm a hypochondriac! D: |
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| Katsucon09 |
[Feb. 17th, 2009|08:22 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | cheerful | ] |
So the Scarlet Mafia took BEST OVERALL PERFORMANCE at the Masquerade. Gundam Wing + Footloose = EPIC FUCKING WIN! :D It seriously made my con...well, made it even better since I spent most of the time with Yishai...doing various raunchy things.<3 I love that man.
I was such an old lady during the con. I didn't even go to the rave this year; I think I'm better off anyway since I was fatigued coming into the con. I can only imagine how bad it would have been if I had enjoyed the rave. There's always Otakon >:3
I'm really happy and proud to be a cosplayer, and the friends I've made only make it better.
Thanks to everyone who made my birthday weekend amazing.
Oh, by the way, I turn 19 in two days. That is all. |
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| Dear World |
[Feb. 12th, 2009|01:13 am] |
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I want to be a mother. |
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| Nostalgia |
[Feb. 2nd, 2009|11:03 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  busy | ] |
I'm still in love with Yu Watase's work. And I'm still attached to Hotohori in the worst way.
I wish I could be heroic like that... |
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| Screwed |
[Feb. 1st, 2009|07:14 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  sick | ] |
I'm in such shit right now.
I'm sick a week before Katsucon and if I'm out of commission for as long as I think I'll be...I won't finish Shana in time.
I don't suppose there's anyone in my LJ friends who would be willing to make a simple sailor fuku for me? I'd absolutely pay you back for labor and fabric.
Please? Someone save me from my rut... I'll love you forever... |
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| Copying Shelby No Jutsu |
[Dec. 28th, 2008|11:30 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  apathetic | ] |
Here's the line up for Katsu that I've thrown together.
Princess Euphemia (Code Geass)
Shana (Shakugan no Shana)
Sir Integra Hellsing (Hellsing Ultimate)
Now...for the boyfriend:
Lelouch Lamperouge (Code Geass)
Yuji (Shakugan No Shana)
Alucard (Hellsing Ultimate)
I know there's a Valentine's Day Ball, but I don't know who I'm doing for that. I know I'm making the boyfriend be Alucard, so I might just recycle my prom dress and be Integra. Worst case scenario, I'm Euphemia and I've been seduced by the overly sexy leading man of Hellsing. Woo<3
And if the NvsP thing ever gets off the ground, I'll be going as Konan. If I don't do her for the dance off, I'll be doing her for the rave.
I have so much work ahead of me. Ugh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 19th, 2008|08:09 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  exhausted | ] |
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday dear taichou!
Happy birthday to you!
Happy birthday, Zaraki-taichou! <3 |
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| Mistakes |
[Oct. 3rd, 2008|08:13 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  bad | ] |
Someday, I'll stop making mistakes.
Someday, you'll be the one to make me agitated.
Someday, this will all even out and it won't even matter.
But every time it happens, it makes me want to do horrible things because of how much self-loathing comes out whenever I displease you. That's how I figured out you were the most important person in my life. Why else would I feel lower than the foulest substance on earth whenever I upset you?
I'm used to threats of 'I'll leave you if...' and 'You're so frustrating I don't know why I'm with you.' Spoken or otherwise, its the most terrifying thing to think about; what I'd do if you were suddenly gone from my life. I know you say you're not leaving...but what happens when you really decide to?
I wish I could talk to you about how I've been thinking about killing myself. And how I want to cut myself more with each passing day because I hate the person I have to look at in the mirror. But you're so angry with me right now...I think I would die if I made you more upset with me...
What should I do? I can't handle myself and you aren't there right now...
Please save me. |
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| He's on my mind |
[Aug. 28th, 2008|04:17 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  amorous | ] |
Its happening again. It always happens like this when I'm not sleeping soundly next to him. I can't sleep by myself anymore, which is kind of problematic given that I'm moving ten and a half hours away from him in a week.
He moves back into his apartment on Monday.
Its terribly sad. I've been weepy about it all week. I don't like the idea of not being able to see him. I mean, I'll only have to wait until AUSA before I get to see him again, but that's far too long to wait.
I can't stop thinking about him. I always want to be with him; when I'm not, I'm restless. It seems wrong that I want to be with him all the time, unhealthy maybe. Like I really care; he's amazing beyond words and I hate going too long without seeing with him.
I feel awful about tonight; I was supposed to go over after Nocturne. But, as always, fate had other plans for me and I didn't get home until about 45 minutes ago. I wanted to call him and let him know how sorry I was for not being there by his side, but I think sleep is a top priority for him given that he has to work today. I wish he didn't...I could spend some more time with him before he packs up and leaves. Ugh. There's that rock again...in my stomach.
I'm so worried that the distance will break our relationship up. I don't doubt that either of us is reluctant to put in the work it'll take to maintain it, but all the same...we're only going to get to see each other a few times every three months or so. I don't want to lose someone as wonderful as him over something as trivial as distance. I'm a firm believer in the phrase "love conquers all." I have good feelings about this, truth be told. But I can't help thinking about the 'what ifs.'
I'm head over heels for this man. Its awful and wonderful all at the same time. It hurts when I'm not with him (I'm pathetic; sue me.) When I see him, my heart still beats as fast as it did the first time I saw him; I still get butterflies in my stomach whenever he smiles at me or touches my hand. My feelings for him have definitely become more intense than they were when we first started out, but everything we do together has the same charm and electricity that it did back then. With each passing day, I fall more in love with him. The more I think about him, the more I want to be with him; be around him. I look forward to every kiss, every touch. He treats me like a princess (as undeserving of this treatment as I am;) I want for nothing. He makes me feel special, wanted, and beautiful. He's absolute perfection to me. I don't want anyone else but him. He's...there are no words. There are just feelings. And they're spectacular feelings.
He's my prince; my Ouran host; my knight in shining armor; my everything.
I love him more than he'll ever know. |
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| Human pin cushion |
[Aug. 25th, 2008|05:40 pm] |
| [ | Here I Am |
| | roomy-chan | ] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | fat and lazy | ] |
I'm a cocktail of drugs, currently. I got a Hepatitis A shot, a tetanus booster, a TB test, and my final HPV vaccine. Now I'm 'one less' but also...uh...my arms suck. XD
I actually stopped blowing Max off; I'm going to dinner with him tomorrow night. D: Fuck my life; I don't know why I'm putting myself in such an awkward situation. I know its going to end dramatically...or poorly...or both. Ugh. My stomach's turning just thinking about it. I'm a moron.
Paula Deen is bastardizing Chinese food right now. It displeases me; she's the empress of butter, not five-spice. Oh I'm such a foody bitch.
I made a post a while back about the criteria one had to fit in order for me to consider them as a potential lover. I am pleased to announce that after careful examination (and me re-reading my LJ) I have discovered that my current beau fits EVERYTHING specified. He's inhuman, I'm convinced; no one should be this perfect XD I'm sure every girl can say that about her lover, but for serious...the guy's perfect for me. I never thought it would actually happen - that I'd find my prince; my perfect match. But lookit here; I found him. And I found him at a GameStop in a little nothing town in Pennsylvania. Lucky, lucky me. :D
I don't know what I'm up to tonight; I kinda just want to veg out and gain weight. But that could be my period talking...
Also, I think I may have this unrealistic expectation that I'm going to lose a bunch of weight at culinary school. I usually don't eat when I cook so...maybe. And if I sleep as much as my schedule allows, then I should be in good shape. I'd like to come home like...ten pounds lighter at Thanksgiving. I think that would be awesome. I should get on that. Stock up on some Slimfast or something. XD My meal plan was all for naught...
Ugh...fat and lazy night. Hell yeah. |
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| My Final Rocky Horror Performance |
[Aug. 19th, 2008|01:05 am] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | cheerful | ] |
Grab your fishnets and head over to Cherry Hill, NJ this weekend for Philly's own Transylvanian Nipple Productions, Rocky Horror, and MonsterManiaCon 11!
What: Rocky Horror Picture Show performed by Transylvanian Nipple Productions
Where: MonsterMania Convention 11 at the Crowne Plaza Hotel, 2349 W Marlton Pike, Cherry Hill, NJ, 08002.
When: Saturday, August 23rd at MIDNIGHT!
Prop bags will be sold in the ballroom.
Be sure to check out the rest of the convention -- guests include Robert Englund (Nightmare on Elm Street series), The Two Coreys - Corey Feldman (Lost Boys,Goonies,etc) and Corey Haim (Lost Boys,License to Drive,etc)…and many, many more! There will be a Lost Boys, Nightmare on Elm Street and Halloween (Rob Zombie) reunion.
More guests and events to come!
For directions and ticket information:
http://monstermania.net/Convention.htm
http://www.transylvanians.org
This will be my final Rocky show before I go to college. It would mean a lot to me if my friends would come share in the insanity and partake in the fun. This cast that I've been a part of for the past three years is like an extended family to me, so...please come out and support us and say a final farewell to the ORIGINAL Jailbait.
I hope to see you there. |
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| Countdown |
[Aug. 17th, 2008|11:58 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  contemplative | ] |
Two weeks to go.
I'll be able to make it back for AUSA, I found out. Parents' weekend is the weekend AFTER the con. So...to what few con friends I have, I'll be seeing you there :D
I'm fearful that my relationship isn't going to last through the first few months. I mean, I'm perfectly fine staying in a relationship, but I'm worried he'll get bored and leave me. Ten hours between two people is an awful long distance...
If he loves me as much as he says he does, I shouldn't have anything to worry about. But as most people know, I'm paranoid about my personal affairs...
I don't know what I'd do if I lost him, too...
As an aside, it hurts me to see my friends unhappy. You know who you are. Please, can I see you before I leave for school? |
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| New Laptop |
[Aug. 15th, 2008|10:12 pm] |
I got my laptop in the mail today. Its a beast for real :D I'm very happy with it, despite the fact that I plan on upgrading the graphics card. I want to play CSS, and after a six hour kitchen lab, who wouldn't want to get a few headshots in?
Its not my fault I'm too cheap to buy myself a 360... XD
Anyway, Otakon came and went. I don't have many pictures from it. I'm probably better off; I don't like how I look in pictures as of late. I think I'm too fat for film...and pixels...
Regardless of my self-image issues, I had fun. It was a little drama-con-ish, but that can't be avoided sometimes...
Hurr...
Tonight I told Yishai the real reason I cosplay. It was a little liberating, but I still carry the weight. Oh well; its not like I expected it to go away over night.
I missed seeing Leigh at Otakon. Guess she's going to have to visit me at school *hinthint* <3
I'm not feeling well again...I hope I kick whatever it is that's plaguing me.
I leave in three weeks for North Carolina. I admit I'm scared stiff of leaving home but I really can't wait to get out of here. I keep thinking of it like summer camp. Or like my trip to Europe. I know I'm going to be terribly homesick...but I have three months and then I get to come home. For about a month. Kinda sweet if you ask me. And I do, in fact, plan on going to AUSA...so I'm sure I'll be seeing everyone sooner than Thanksgiving.
Also, I'm volunteering at this November's Philly fetish ball! I'm excited. Hopefully Passional will allow me to model some of their sexiness :3 Should I be so lucky-fucky.
Speaking of being lucky-fucky...I've got a Rocky Horror show on the 22nd. Hot damn!
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd...I'm done. :3 |
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| Goodbye Snakey... |
[Aug. 12th, 2008|05:15 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  enraged | ] |
While I was away at Otakon, someone broke into my house during the night. Nothing appeared to be stolen...
Until I went to check on my snake today. He was gone.
There is no way in hell he could have opened the cage roof by himself. And the bedding had been disturbed in a way that he couldn't have been responsible for unless he was a foot bigger.
What asshole steals a snake?!
Needless to say, I'm beyond distraught. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 4th, 2008|10:54 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  calm | ] |
So my SnJ Jiraiya prom wig looks an AWFUL lot like Setsuka's new hairstyle in Soul Calibur IV.
Its a sign from Gad. :B I think I might actually attempt to make her new outfit...for the next con I can afford to go to.
Ugh...so much work to do...so little time.
I'm the queen of procrastination. |
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| What the hell? |
[Jun. 30th, 2008|10:40 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| |  weird | ] |
My puppy just came into my room, rooted through my clean laundry, and stole a pair of my panties. Just now. No lie.
Uh...kay. |
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| White suit |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|10:25 pm] |
| [ | I'm Feeling |
| | calm | ] |
I need a white suit for Girlycard. Anyone want to make me one? Anyone? Bueler? XD
Seriously though. Someone hook me up. I will reward you. <3 |
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